When you hear about Valentine’s Day, you start thinking about your loved ones, life-partners or very close friends who you love secretly. Love always start with some little dose of humor which helps to consolidate it. So what better way to show how much you care to the love of your life or the one you love secretly through sending funny valentine messages. It has got both – the humor part and love part. Start the day well by celebrating Valentine’s Day by bringing a smile to your loved ones through these funny Valentine messages. I have also included some images just for the fun if you want funny Valentine’s images instead.
1 “What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.” – Pearl Bailey
2 I require three things in a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.’- Dorothy Parker.
3 ‘My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn’t want him to.’- Rita Rudner.
4‘Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.’ – Aristotle
5‘If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?’ – Anonymous
6‘Love is like a river, always changing, but always finding you again somewhere down the road.’ – Kelly Elaine
7’Without love, what are we worth? Eighty-nine cents! Eighty-nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely.’ – Hawkeye, M.A.S.H.
8‘Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don’t say.’ – Anon
9‘Friendship is one mind in two bodies.’ – Mencius
10“Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.” – Lynda Barry
11“Love is a game that two can play and both win.” – Eva Gabor
12“When you’re in love you never really know whether your elation comes from the qualities of the one you love, or if it attributes them to her; whether the light which surrounds her like a halo comes from you, from her, or from the meeting of your sparks.” – Natalie Clifford Barney
13“Before I met my husband, I’d never fallen in love. I’d stepped in it a few times.” – Rita Rudner
14“Love is like war. Easy to begin with but hard to end” – Unknown
15‘All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt…’ – Lucy Van Pelt, Peanuts
16’Love is just a chocolate substitute.’ – Melanie Clark
17“If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?” – Lily Tomlin
18‘Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.’ – Hoosier Farmer
19‘I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.’ – Anonymous
20‘We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere.’ – Tim McGraw
21‘My father always used to say that when you die, if you’ve got five real friends, then you’ve had a great life.’ – Lee Iacocca
22‘If you walk in front of me, I may not follow. If you walk behind me, I may not lead. If you walk beside me, I will be your friend.’ – Albert Camus
23‘You can’t put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.’ – Chico Marx
24“Love doesn’t grow on trees like apples in Eden – it’s something you have to make. And you must use your imagination too.” – Joyce Carol Oates
25’A kiss is an application on the top floor a job in the basement.’ – Unknown
26‘Valentine’s Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.’ – Anonymous
27‘Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.’ – Thomas Robert Dewar
28‘Women are cursed, and men are the proof.’ – Rosanne Barr.
29‘Get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day.’ – Mickey Rooney.
30‘I just love to do special things for my wife on Valentine’s day. Like open the door for her when she puts all the laundry in the washing machine, or plug and unplug the vacuum as she moves from room to room cleaning. Guys, it’s these little thoughtful things you can do to have a marriage such as mine.’ – Anonymous
31‘Sales Ad at a Store: ‘You are my one and only’ valentine cards, now on sale: 4 for $5.’ – Anonymous
32’Falling in love is so hard on the knees.’ – Aerosmith
33‘Basement smells bad. Look for cat poops, change litter.’ – Happy Valentines Day. (note to her gardener) Martha Stewart
34‘A kiss makes the heart young again and wipes out the years…’ – Rupert Brooke
35‘Without love, the rich and poor live in the same house.’
36“To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.”- David Viscott
37“Love wouldn’t be blind if the Braille weren’t so damned much fun.”- Unknown
38“Love, and a cough, cannot be hid.” – George Herbert
39“Love is being stupid together.” – Paul Valery
40“Like the measles, love is most dangerous when it comes late in life”- Lord Byron
41“I got a Valentine’s Day card from my girl. It said, ‘Take my heart ! Take my arms! Take my lips!’ Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.”- Robert Orben
42‘Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.’- John Waters
43‘Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.’ – Unknown
44‘It takes a lot experience for a girl to kiss like a beginner.’ – Ingrid Bergman
45‘It’s not that I can’t live without you…it’s just that I don’t even want to try.’
46‘Women with pasts interest men… they hope history will repeat itself.’ – Mae West.
47‘Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.’ – Groucho Marx.
48“Today is Valentine’s Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day.” – Jay Leno
49“The Eskimos have 52 words for snow because it is so special to them; there ought to be as many for love.” – Margaret Atwood
50“Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place.” – Zora Neale Hurston
51“Once you have loved someone, you’d do anything in the world for them except love them again” – Unknown
52“Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.” – Judith Viorst
53“Love is what you’ve been through with somebody.” – James Thurber
54“Love is not singular except in syllable.” – Marvin Taylor
55“Love means nothing in tennis, but it’s everything in life.” – Unknown
56‘Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, falling in love with you was beyond my control’
57“Love is the greatest refreshment in life.” – Pablo Picasso
58‘A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.’ – Arturo Toscanini
59‘Love – a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker.’
60“Take away love and our earth is a tomb.” -Robert Browning
61“One advantage of marriage, it seems to me, is that when you fall out of love with him, or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until maybe you fall in again.” – Judith Viorst
62‘When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.’ – Mark Twain
63‘One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.’ – Sophocles
64“Roses are red, violets are blue, Happy Valentines day, I love this really cool person with a great smile, cool personality, a sense of humor, and it isn’t you. Just kidding.”
65“We have many Valentines days under our belts… literally and figuratively. I guess the chocolates add up over time. Happy Valentine’s day, and another one under our belts.”
66“I’m wishing you a happy Valentine’s day, because it’s the only way I’ll have a happy Valentine’s day.”
67“I can’t think of any reasons to not love you.”
68‘I wanted to make it really special on Valentine’s day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV.’
69“I worked hard trying to think of what to write in your card, really. Then I just ‘googled’ it. Happy Valentine’s Day”
70“The only reason I celebrate Valentine’s Day is to keep it from turning into sleep-on-the-couch night.”
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